“Hi,

I am currently 5 feet or more away from my desk and as I have not noticed that it’s the 21st Century, I have no interest in keeping in touch with what is going on in the world.

Your message will be printed off by my PA and go to the bottom of a very large pile which will probably end up in the bin before I get round to reading it.”

(Thanks to John Popham,  reproduced here following related workplace discussions yesterday).